Stuff I Hate in Manila #1: Greedy DriversOctober 20, 2008
The typical image that comes to my mind when I imagine a Manila driver and his conductor is a 2-headed-vampire. Beware this vile creature for it also possesses powers that could surpass its Transylvanian counterpart. It can bend the laws of physics. Give it a jeep of any size and it can squeeze in humans whose combined volume measure twice the capacity of that said jeep.
This vile creature also has memory altering powers. Instead of making other people forget, as Transylvanian vampires routinely do, this creature instead performs this power on itself. It does this by seducing passengers with promises of dropping them off at specified locations, but it instead “forgets” about those promises and drops them off at far flung locations. This creature could also suck, but it has a more refined taste than its Transylvanian counterpart. Whereas, a Transylvanian vampire is content with blood, the 2-headed-driver-conductor-vampire must suck the cash out of passenger pockets. It won’t stop unless the passenger emphatically forbids it from sucking more.
Garlic can’t stop this abomination. In fact, this creature may even prefer garlicky foods to the traditional blood diet. Crosses, rosaries, and the power of saints have no effect on it; and it may even face its collection of Catholic paraphernalia rivaling Rome itself all day to no avail. Its heart and actions would still be true blue 2-headed-vampire. It would still lie, cheat, and steal whatever it could from its passengers.
Be on guard against this vile creature by recognizing that knowledge is anathema to it. Know what the exact and official fares are, and you’ll have a weapon against it. It won’t dare suck you dry of cash when it is faced with facts.
*Bus, taxi, and jeepney drivers have the same character traits.
PS I am of course referring to the typical driver and conductor. Untypical drivers and conductors are nice and honest. They’re, however, very difficult to find.